Why Do I always Feel So Nervous?

My wife and I had just visited the American Embassy, prior to my coming over here to the United States.

We were sitting on a bench at Paddington Station in London, and I remember sweating profusely, my stomach in knots, feeling nervous way past a state of anxiety. Lois is a nurse, and having worked for a psychiatrist was very understanding regarding mental illness. She was infinitely patient with me. She led me onto the train and once we were underway, this awful feeling subsided. The sensation seemed much more than just a panic attack; it was sheer terror! But of what? Lois was a wonderful wife, always has been, and no-one was out to 'get' me.

Obviously, I was mentally ill even then. Why I never sought treatment for mental illness; nervousness, anxiety, irrational fear, I just don't know. At the time about which I write, it would have been difficult. As I've said, I was emigrating to the United States, so to admit myself to a clinic was out of the question.

But I'd received treatment for alcoholism many years before. Why not this horrendous disorder beneath which I was suffering? It's only been latterly, within the past 7 years, that I actually entered a psychiatric unit in a local hospital.

It did a lot for me, too. I tried shock treatment. I had three sessions of that. The worst part was when they plunged this great thick needle in my hand, called a shunt. Basically, this is something to which they hook you up when they put you to sleep.

Obviously, I've no idea what happens when you're 'out', but prior to that, they stick wires all over you on little rubber pads. After the shock treatment, you feel quite disoriented for some time.

I don't really think it did me a lot of good in the final analysis. I believe the idea is to jumble all your brain cells so that they come back together in the right places. Please excuse the rather less than perfect medical terminology! Now, although electric shock never did me much good, I don't want to suggest that others won't benefit. I know some people who swear by it.

However, thanks to drugs, and these days they're pretty advanced for most types of treatment of mental illness, I'm a great deal better. I still hate travelling. I become nervous and anxious days before we go anywhere, although it must be said that I'm nothing like as bad as I used to be.

It is so vital to catch any mental debility in its early stages. The chances of a cure are then so much better.

Studies have shown that mental illness affects 1 out of 5 families in the United States. The World Health Organization reports that 4 out of 10 disorders are mental in nature in the West, and that by 2020, Major Depressive illness will be the leading cause of disability among women and children. These statistics are frightening.

One of the main reasons for them, I think, and why they aren't caught in the early stages, is the stigma that's still attached to such conditions. If you see a chap walking around with his head under his arm, well it's pretty obvious that there's something wrong with him. You can actually see that. His head's fallen off! But you can't see mental illness. It can creep up on you and grab you before you know it.

Women are much more sensible than men as regards to treatment. Men tend to be macho about it and stupidly suffer in silence. Mark you, they make others suffer because of it.

It is so important to seek treatment. It isn't a character flaw. It isn't a weakness in your make-up. It's an illness like any other. If you cut yourself badly, you'd go to the emergency room and have the wound bound up. Only a complete idiot would allow it to bleed out. So with mental illness.

If you're suffering from it, do something about it. If you simply let it fester, then you and everyone else around you will live in a nightmare.

These days, doctors generally are a lot more savvy and sympathetic to mental conditions than they used to be. Seek medical help. This cannot be stressed strongly enough. I know. I should have sought help many years ago, but I thought I could fight it. I admit to being an fool.

Please don't follow my example.

I'm indebted to the National Alliance on Mental Illness for some of the statistics in this article.

Copyright (c) 2009 Mike Bond

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The treatment for mental illness is vital, not just for the sufferer, but for his or her family. The most important thing is action. Do something. Go and see a doctor first of all and explain matters to him or her. There's an excellent first step if you click on the URL below. www.mbizossad.com

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